nada
Acto I
Um sono crónico instala-se por estas alturas. Noites mal dormidas (bem vividas), ensaios, calor… Depois de almoço começa a ser muito complicado. Acordar começa a ser muito complicado. Ter paciência começa a ser muito complicado. Apetecem-me sítios frescos, bebidas frescas e gente fresca (aborrecem-me estes…). Neura.
Acto II
Alguém faz uma escolha e assume as consequências da coisa. Começa-se a recorrer ao insulto. Deixo de tomar banho. Deixo de fazer a barba. Não mudo de roupa. Escarro. Arranco unhas dos pés e mastigo-as satisfeito. Embebedo-me. Tenho manchas de tinto na camisa suja. Vomito.
Acto III
Alguém me diz “vai mas é dormir”. Vou. Prás Caldas. Agora.
Um sono crónico instala-se por estas alturas. Noites mal dormidas (bem vividas), ensaios, calor… Depois de almoço começa a ser muito complicado. Acordar começa a ser muito complicado. Ter paciência começa a ser muito complicado. Apetecem-me sítios frescos, bebidas frescas e gente fresca (aborrecem-me estes…). Neura.
Acto II
Alguém faz uma escolha e assume as consequências da coisa. Começa-se a recorrer ao insulto. Deixo de tomar banho. Deixo de fazer a barba. Não mudo de roupa. Escarro. Arranco unhas dos pés e mastigo-as satisfeito. Embebedo-me. Tenho manchas de tinto na camisa suja. Vomito.
Acto III
Alguém me diz “vai mas é dormir”. Vou. Prás Caldas. Agora.
posted by Naked Lunch at segunda-feira, junho 05, 2006
10 Comments:
E assim cai o pano.
segunda feira, junho 05?!
na melhor nódoa...
vómito de unhas mal digeridas!
boring friday night. doing almost nothing just enjoying the fresh wind that blows through the house. fresh night. this is to be exported to th doc repository I have on Writely. my life hasn't changed much in the last days. just same old something about anything. just the same, really. another short period of sameness. another leg in the journey. the same place is so persistent that seems to be shifting forever. and it all began in the distant past that no one remembers now. and I try very hard to forget the time when all this began. but I always end up thinking I really can't forget that. it's so much stronger than me. and what about all those koncorrrde files/docs that are scattered all over the place? they are just memories now, nothing more than that. and I'm glad they are nothing more than that because I don't want to relive them, those moments; memories. but I don't want to forget also. I haven't really decided yet. I need more time to think about it. I need more patience and preserverence. and this ammounts to nothing, it has no weight, no clear meaning. you have to digg deeper into the text to find some logic. you need to be aware that some things don't really mean what they seem to represent. this night seems endless, unfortunately, if I might add. and again, this seems like nothing I've seen or heared before. I'm left to wondering why. I'm left with myself, again. as if I don't understand who I am anymore. nah, things don't make sense like that. things are always coming back to me. can't shake'em off. can't even think, now that I think about it. I wish I could dream of something nice, for a change. but there's a severe lack of light in here. everything's dark, but oddly, it seems like the right ammount of light. whatever. I feel like I'm just unloading stuff out and not feeling better because of that. don't feel worse, either. don't even feel like going to the place where I'm lovingly expected. for better or for worse. I'll just keep on playing around and avoid the fucking place for as long as I can. I can always close my eyes in a violent fashion. I could even throw my mind out of myself. at least for a little while. but nothing of that will happen, sadly. I'm going to keep my head cool and not think too much about it. but, I know, these feelings, terrible in nature, will never cease to haunt me. sometimes stronger, sometimes weaker. this is a good way out. I mean, not to think too much about it. not to worry too much. just feel it like if it is a bad dream, weighting almost zero grams. floating. that's the right word, I guess. still with me, may I ask? so let's move along the edges of what is "now" for me, right now. it's something light that doesn't seem to bother me. at least, too much. at least, I don't know who I am. and that's something, isn't it? life is slipping by. don't know where to. and even if I knew, I wouldn't know what to do with that information. I would just keep it to myself and be quiet about it. and, please try not to think about the ocean and it's openess. please. think of nice blocks of text as architechtural wonders. how do they stay up and not fallen to the ground? makes me think a lot, don't know about you. by the way, you make me sick. you make me want to be where I am now. regardless of the nature of this place. it's not where you are, that's what's important here. that what this text is; the place where you are not. ignore this? please, do.
Caramba.
pum! é tiro ou sono?
Vai mas volta, há muito trabalhinho para fazer no fim d semana...
Com tanta frescura, vê lá não congeles!
Bom fds my friend.
de volta. boas. grande raspa, inspirado...
Chiça. E nem te vi. Nem um moscatelzito. :-(
para a próxima ;)
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